Dr. Blume's Article of the Month

The Perils of Black and White Thinking
By Dr. Ginger E. Blume

As we grow and mature, both our bodies and minds go through various developmental phases. This article focuses on one aspect of mental development that eventually allows us to think in a sophisticated, complex fashion. Without this form of mental or cognitive development, the challenges of adult life can become emotionally and socially overwhelming.

Just like any type of development, cognitive development moves from a fairly primitive type of thinking, to more complex types of mental processing. One aspect of early childhood thinking is characterized as “black and white” thinking. Note that this black and white thinking allows us to see the world only in terms of extremes. If things aren't "perfect," then they must be "horrible." If my friend isn't "brilliant" then she must be "stupid.”

We’re all familiar with this type of polarized thinking that utilizes concepts such as “good or bad,” “weak or strong,” “clean or dirty,” etc. Children naturally use this mode of dichotomous thinking to learn about their world. It is an easy way for children to categorize events and experiences into one of two mental boxes. In this way, they learn what they like or dislike, what feels positive or negative, etc. and it helps them organize their world. This need to organize is related to our need as human beings to control and predict events as best we can.

This “either this or that” system of mental categorization is quite useful during early stages of childhood. Just as physical development may become stunted, so too, can mental or cognitive development. Stunting can occur when a child lives in a dysfunctional family situation where more complex and effective ways of mentally processing are not demonstrated or modeled by parents. Cognitive stunting can also occur due to early, traumatic (mental, physical or sexual) life experiences. Without moving beyond this simplistic way of categorizing the world and one’s experiences in the world, an individual will begin to encounter more and more difficulties coping as their life becomes more complicated in adulthood.

What are the repercussions of “black and white thinking” extending as a primary means of understanding one’s world into adult life? By the time a child reaches early adulthood, life has become quite complex and sorting life into polar opposites creates enormous problems. For instance, imagine you have only two file folders in your mind and all life events/experiences must be sorted into one of your two options. In reality, 99% of life doesn’t fit into simple good/bad, right/wrong, happy/sad, types of categories. When you are limited by your early life or primitive mental filing system, you can’t begin to appreciate true shades of gray. In fact, you don’t realize a shade of gray even exists!

Realistic thinking is best portrayed as a scale from white to black that is mostly shades of gray. There are a multitude of “in between” points. Indeed, to fully recognize “reality,” we must be able to distinguish these metaphoric shades of gray. For instance, if you don’t think in shades of grade, you might artificially file a recent event into your “bad file folder” and then when circumstances change, you might find yourself filing a similar event into your “good file folder.” This type of thinking can’t include the concept that something or someone might be both good and bad (inclusive thinking versus either or thinking is not developed).

Overtime, this inconsistency or shifting in your mind, will eventually affect your view of yourself. It can lead you to believe negative things about yourself, such as:

1) I can’t make up my mind (i.e. I feel one way versus the other depending upon what aspect of a situation or person I’m focused on.)

2) I can’t trust myself or my opinion (i.e. because I’m constantly changing my opinion, depending on the situation, my mood, etc.)

3) I have low self-esteem (i.e. due to black and white thinking, I can only view myself as “good or bad,” and given that good means perfect, I must be bad.)

4) I don’t have a consistent view of myself. (i.e. I’m frequently caught off guard or surprised by my own reactions.) Psychologists refer to this unstable view of self as resulting from the process of “splitting” (the good self and the bad self are separate and not perceived as capable of existing within one person).

This either or thinking style doesn’t allow you to recognize that someone or something can be both good and bad. For instance, a person might steal food when they are poor and later when they have plenty of money, share their food and resources freely with other people. This person may have done both good and bad things in their life, but they are still OK as a person (shade of gray).

As you can see, black and white thinking causes a lot of cognitive/mental distortions and problems in your adult life. These distortions are caused by artificially shelving experiences and events into two simple categories. This limitation doesn’t allow you, as an adult, to see things more realistically. This once useful way of thinking in childhood becomes a disability if it persists into adulthood as your major way of understanding the world. Also, understand, that under duress, adults can often temporarily regress to more primitive thinking, especially when they are feeling overwhelmed.

If you recognize that this is a problem in your daily life, you have already made a significant step toward developing a more mature way of thinking. This acknowledgement is a statement to yourself that you have limitations that you would like to address. The next step is to consciously decide to question your usual thinking mode. Ask yourself, “Are their other ways to view this situation besides good or bad? Or ask, “How would someone else see this situation?” Become curious about alternative viewpoints that represent some place midway along a mental continuum between polar opposites of “good or bad.”

If you find it difficult to make progress by yourself, seek psychotherapy. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy are common approaches that are very helpful in learning to change from black and white thinking to a more realistic, appropriate, mature way of understanding and evaluating your world.